“The scariest moment is always just before you start.” — Stephen King
“People cannot live unless they’re needed by others. Therefore, they work so hard; for their jobs, or studies..in order to be needed by someone.” — Aizawa Kousaku, Code Blue
“I won’t cast the first stone or leave the first mark, but I will leave a lasting impression.” – New Found Glory, Failure’s Not Flattering
“Orang-orang yang merindu, namun tetap menjaga kehormatan perasaannya, takut sekali berbuat dosa, memilih senyap, terus memperbaiki diri hingga waktu memberikan kabar baik, boleh jadi doa-doanya menguntai tangga yang indah hingga ke langit. Kalaupun tidak dengan yang dirindukan, boleh jadi diganti yang lebih baik” — Tere Liye
“If you argue correctly, you’re never wrong. That’s the beauty of argument.” — Nick Naylor, Thank You For Smoking.
“You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think!” — Christopher Robin, Winnie the Pooh’s Most Grand Adventure.
“When does a human die? It’s when he’s forgotten by others..”— Dr. Hiluluk, One Piece.
“When alone, people don’t value life. It’s only when there’s someone they want to be with, someone they don’t want to sadden, people value their own lives.” — Aizawa Kousaku, Code Blue.
Gejolak Rasa
Ketika sedang begitu penuh semangatnya
Belum juga selesai menyampaikan ide namun langsung ditolaknya
Bagaimana rasanya?
Sedih… kah?
Kecewa… kah?
Dan mulailah memicu rasa-rasa lainnya.
Yang membuat seperti tak berdaya.
Mungkin itu yang seringkali menyebabkan kesepian.
Membuatmu terus berjuang sendirian.
Akankah itu membuatmu berhenti di sini?
Mungkin akan terjebak dalam kegelapan itu lagi
Ataukah kau akan belajar mengelola ekspektasi?
Mungkin akan temukan mereka yang setia menemani
Pada waktunya nanti…
Thanks For Saving Me
Mungkin agak terlambat sehari, tapi gue pengen mendedikasikan tulisan ini untuk Hari Kesehatan Mental Dunia, 10 Oktober 2018.
Gue emang bukan lulusan psikologi, apalagi ahli kejiwaan. Gue hanya menuliskan ini berdasarkan pengalaman gue sendiri yang tampaknya juga sempat mengalami ketidakstabilan mental.
Gue sendiri gak yakin sih apakah yang gue alami ketika itu (atau mungkin hingga saat ini?) adalah gangguan kesehatan mental atau bukan, tapi orang lain mungkin menganggap kondisi gue memang kurang wajar atau nggak umum. Gue sendiri pun mengakui sih bahwa keadaan kayak gitu tuh nggak sehat. Tapi gue juga akhirnya belajar bahwa berpatokan pada orang lain tuh justru yang bikin mental jadi nggak stabil. (Ini nanti bisa jadi bahasan panjang tersendiri.)
Anyway, pada akhirnya gue pun menyimpulkan bahwa ternyata kesehatan mental itu memang sama pentingnya dengan kesehatan fisik, dan itu adalah sesuatu yang nggak bisa kita anggap remeh.
Dan ya, di masyarakat kita pun masih lekat stigma negatif seputar kesehatan mental. Ini yang perlu sama-sama kita luruskan.
Ekspektasi
Ketika ada semangat dan tujuan, ada satu bahaya yang akan mengikuti.
Ekspektasi.
Satu hal yang mungkin akan membuat jatuh kembali.
Ketika muncul ekspektasi, ada yang menghadang jika ia tak terpenuhi.
Rasa kecewa. Yang mungkin akan menimbulkan rasa-rasa lainnya, jika tak dikelola dengan semestinya.
Rasa lemah. Rasa tak berdaya. Rasa tak berguna.
Yang mungkin sebenarnya hanya dalam pikiran saja.
Ketika rencana tak berjalan sesuai keinginan, ketika ajakan tak diterima sesuai harapan.
Ketika yang dilakukan ternyata tak relevan dengan tujuan.
Mungkin saja itu akan membuat mundur beraturan.
Entahlah.. akankah kau belajar dari pengalaman?
Skenario Terindah
Sejujurnya gue telah memutuskan untuk berusaha menghindari menulis dengan bahasa campur-campur, tapi gue lagi terlalu capek dan males mikir untuk nulis dalam bahasa Inggris, sedangkan dalam beberapa hal gue merasa perlu mengekspresikannya dalam bahasa Inggris karena kalo pake Bahasa Indonesia tuh kadang jatohnya “rasa” yang dihasilkan berbeda.
So, I hope you don’t mind if I mix in some English sentences once in a while.
If you mind.. ya gak usah baca aja kaleee. :D
Oh dan satu hal lagi, mengingat gue itu kalo cerita suka heboh dan detail banget, ini posting sepertinya bakal cukup panjang. Cuma mau ngasihtau aja sih, daripada sampeyan misuh-misuh karena ceritanya kepanjangan, kalo emang gak terlalu suka baca tulisan panjang, ya gak usah dilanjutin aja bacanya. Hehehe.
Jadi begini..
Sampe sekarang gue masih sering gagal paham sama cara kerja skenarionya Allah. Bener-bener deh, rencana-Nya itu super ajaib. Seringkali sama sekali gak kita prediksi. Kok ya tau-tau aja bisa begitu, di luar kebiasaan, dan lain sebagainya.
Salah satunya adalah kejadian dalam 24 jam yang lalu dari hidup gue.
Damaged Goods
Parenting trauma is super real, y’all.
It’s not always explicit like sexual or physical abuse or such, but the emotional trauma is as damaging.
It may damage you as a person. It affects your personality.
It’s true that education shapes people, but we often mistaken “school” for “education”. Believe it or not, the most of education takes place at home.
There are various research to prove this, but since this is not a scientific paper, I apologize for not citing any of those research. (Might as well do your own research, though. Read some parenting books, I’m sure you’ll find a bunch of references there. Oh and while you’re at it, do some research about fitrah-based education/FBE as well. You won’t regret it.)
Well, this is coming from a person who spend years of her life thinking that she could change things, thought that education is the root answer for everything, then found out that school system is an ultimately ineffective component of education, and also figured out that she is a combination of an ideal product of a failed education system and a terribly damaged product of a dysfunctional parenting.
Okay, that was disturbingly specific.
I know I usually try to keep it positive in this blog, but heck, people need to know this.
I am not a professional or an expert or anything in this, but I am speaking writing from the point of view of a person who has experienced the trauma. I don’t care anymore how people judge me, I’m already damaged as I am. At least I’m letting it out just for the sake of keeping me sane writing the truth.
I am who I am. And like it or not, this is me. I’m not really sure how my parents raised me, honestly I don’t remember too much. Perhaps my brain actively delete memories it doesn’t like. Anyhow, as I grew up, as I learn and know more, I figured out that some things are seriously wrong in my life.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do love my family. I’m grateful for them. But hey, it doesn’t change the fact that they made some terrible mistakes.
And this is how I turned out to be. All the crap and the good inside, if any.
This is how my personality turned out to be. This is how I was “programmed” to be, by everything that happens in my family.
Trust me, it works just like that.
Parenting is like programming.
Be it the habits in the family, how the parents talk to the children, what the parents do, how the parents think, they’re all what makes a person who he/she is. That’s how we all actually learn.
Oh on an important note; parents or family here isn’t necessarily biological, it also works as caretakers or whoever acts as one.
Anyway, so that is why I’m writing this. Everybody needs to know.
Education is important. And the most of education comes from parents.
Education starts from family.
Thus, it is urgent and important to learn how to be good parents.
It is not to be taken lightly.
True, there may not be such thing as the best parenting method. However, that is exactly why we all need to learn, so that we may know and understand well enough to choose which one suits us best.
Because in the end, we’re all left to make our own choices… and face the consequences.**
Well, this could be a longer post, but I guess I have pretty much made my point.
You know how there are some people that goes viral for doing some freakishly ridiculous things and you can’t help to wonder how people can do something so freaking bizarre?
And all the stupid things “netizen” say?
Have you ever wondered how these people were raised in their family?
Don’t blame the government. Don’t blame schools.
Ask ourselves, what are we doing as parents, as adults.
Did we prepare ourselves to properly raise another human being?
We need to break this chain, people. Let’s get to work.
#LearnParenting
#OrangtuaBelajar
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**This is also one of the most important skills we need to teach children!
