I Could Have Been..

The mega sports event Asian Games 2018 will soon comes to an end. Having watched so many athletes plays various sports in this event, I kept on thinking to myself; I could have been an athlete..

I don’t know if anyone has actually noticed, the last few years all my life I’ve been struggling to figure out what on earth I’m good at. That struggle has been fruitless. I suck at everything.

Well, perhaps ever since I was in school I’ve always been able to do many things, but I never knew what I’m really good at. I’ve been a jack-of-all trades, but master of none. Surely, I can do some things where my other colleagues can’t, but put me in that specific field, and I’m pretty much nothing. Among other people in that field, I got nothing special. Basically, I actually suck at it. And it applies to all of the things I thought I was good at.

Everything…except for sports. Or so I think.

Seeing all the athletes competing in various sports in Asian Games 2018, I very much regret for not having pursued sports. I’ve always been quite good at sports, and I liked it. I honestly have at least practiced and experienced competitions in several sports being competed in Asian Games, such as athletic, pencak silat, taekwondo, (mini) soccer..

Now I keep on regretting; man, oh man, I could have been an athlete. I could totally have competed in those sports. I could have been in this event.

But I am not.

I am still here, staring at these four walls wondering where on earth my life is going.

I always enjoy PE at school, I joined invitational and regional competitions, and I even still participated in various internal sports events in college and in the company I worked in. I always enjoyed doing it. I even enjoyed doing it more than my main job or task in the institution I was in. I even still competed in futsal competition while working on my undergrad thesis. Those moments always made me happy.

Why oh why I didn’t pursue sports as a career?

Well, I have to admit that I thought there was no future in sports career. I guess that’s also the way I was raised; my parents are the kind of people who thinks of sports as nothing more than a hobby. It’s not a way to make a living. Career in sports were still underrated and underappreciated (unless for badminton and men’s football, I guess). 10 years ago, even perhaps until a couple years ago, athletes are still underpaid, undertrained, basically neglected by the government. It seems that only since Indonesia was to become the host of Asian Games 2018 that the government started to put serious treatments to the Indonesian athletes.

But it’s already too late for me. I’m already past my prime years of physical condition. Even if I could start so late, I don’t even know how and where to begin. I don’t know if I could compete with much younger athletes. I’m physically and mentally too late.

And here I am, having no friends, no job, no skills, no achievements; still staring at the same four walls, wondering what the heck I’m going to do with my life.

Author: nadhilaaz

Still trying to figure it out.

Let me know what you think :)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.