Thanks For Saving Me

Mungkin agak terlambat sehari, tapi gue pengen mendedikasikan tulisan ini untuk Hari Kesehatan Mental Dunia, 10 Oktober 2018.

Gue emang bukan lulusan psikologi, apalagi ahli kejiwaan. Gue hanya menuliskan ini berdasarkan pengalaman gue sendiri yang tampaknya juga sempat mengalami ketidakstabilan mental.

Gue sendiri gak yakin sih apakah yang gue alami ketika itu (atau mungkin hingga saat ini?) adalah gangguan kesehatan mental atau bukan, tapi orang lain mungkin menganggap kondisi gue memang kurang wajar atau nggak umum. Gue sendiri pun mengakui sih bahwa keadaan kayak gitu tuh nggak sehat. Tapi gue juga akhirnya belajar bahwa berpatokan pada orang lain tuh justru yang bikin mental jadi nggak stabil. (Ini nanti bisa jadi bahasan panjang tersendiri.)

Anyway, pada akhirnya gue pun menyimpulkan bahwa ternyata kesehatan mental itu memang sama pentingnya dengan kesehatan fisik, dan itu adalah sesuatu yang nggak bisa kita anggap remeh.

Dan ya, di masyarakat kita pun masih lekat stigma negatif seputar kesehatan mental. Ini yang perlu sama-sama kita luruskan.

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Damaged Goods

Parenting trauma is super real, y’all.

It’s not always explicit like sexual or physical abuse or such, but the emotional trauma is as damaging.

It may damage you as a person. It affects your personality.

It’s true that education shapes people, but we often mistaken “school” for “education”. Believe it or not, the most of education takes place at home.

There are various research to prove this, but since this is not a scientific paper, I apologize for not citing any of those research. (Might as well do your own research, though. Read some parenting books, I’m sure you’ll find a bunch of references there. Oh and while you’re at it, do some research about fitrah-based education/FBE as well. You won’t regret it.)

Well, this is coming from a person who spend years of her life thinking that she could change things, thought that education is the root answer for everything, then found out that school system is an ultimately ineffective component of education, and also figured out that she is a combination of an ideal product of a failed education system and a terribly damaged product of a dysfunctional parenting.

Okay, that was disturbingly specific.

I know I usually try to keep it positive in this blog, but heck, people need to know this.
I am not a professional or an expert or anything in this, but I am speaking writing from the point of view of a person who has experienced the trauma. I don’t care anymore how people judge me, I’m already damaged as I am. At least I’m letting it out just for the sake of keeping me sane writing the truth.

I am who I am. And like it or not, this is me. I’m not really sure how my parents raised me, honestly I don’t remember too much. Perhaps my brain actively delete memories it doesn’t like. Anyhow, as I grew up, as I learn and know more, I figured out that some things are seriously wrong in my life.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do love my family. I’m grateful for them. But hey, it doesn’t change the fact that they made some terrible mistakes.

And this is how I turned out to be. All the crap and the good inside, if any.

This is how my personality turned out to be. This is how I was “programmed” to be, by everything that happens in my family.

Trust me, it works just like that.

Parenting is like programming.

Be it the habits in the family, how the parents talk to the children, what the parents do, how the parents think, they’re all what makes a person who he/she is. That’s how we all actually learn.

Oh on an important note; parents or family here isn’t necessarily biological, it also works as caretakers or whoever acts as one.

Anyway, so that is why I’m writing this. Everybody needs to know.

Education is important. And the most of education comes from parents.

Education starts from family.

Thus, it is urgent and important to learn how to be good parents.
It is not to be taken lightly.

True, there may not be such thing as the best parenting method. However, that is exactly why we all need to learn, so that we may know and understand well enough to choose which one suits us best.

Because in the end, we’re all left to make our own choices… and face the consequences.**

Well, this could be a longer post, but I guess I have pretty much made my point.

You know how there are some people that goes viral for doing some freakishly ridiculous things and you can’t help to wonder how people can do something so freaking bizarre?

And all the stupid things “netizen” say?

Have you ever wondered how these people were raised in their family?

Don’t blame the government. Don’t blame schools.
Ask ourselves, what are we doing as parents, as adults.
Did we prepare ourselves to properly raise another human being?

We need to break this chain, people. Let’s get to work.

#LearnParenting
#OrangtuaBelajar

**This is also one of the most important skills we need to teach children!

It’s My Life

It’s my life
It’s now or never
I ain’t gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I’m alive

It’s my life
My heart is like an open highway
Like Franklin said, “I did it my way”
I just wanna live while I’m alive

Bon Jovi – It’s My Life

Lagu ini masih terus terngiang-ngiang di kepala gue sampe saat ini, tetapi itu nggak bikin gue kesel (seperti mungkin umumnya lagu yang terngiang-ngiang di pikiran), justru bikin gue lebih semangat :)

Ya, baru dalam 4 hari kebelakang ini gue bener-bener mendalami lirik lagu ini, dan meresapi maknanya. Ini hidup gue. Hidup gue adanya sekarang; nanti, besok, lusa, siapa yang tahu? Only Allah knows. Gue punya pilihan untuk menentukan hidup gue. Mau seperti apa? Mau dibawa kemana?

Dan ternyata gue udah pernah menulis tentang pilihan loh di sini. (Baru nyadar, hahaha. Terus sekarang nulis apa dong yah.)

Oh, iya. Kalau gitu sekarang gue nulis tentang kesadaran deh. Bahasa kerennya (eh, Bahasa Inggrisnya ding) sih awareness.

Apa itu awareness? Awareness adalah kesadaran. (Lah, dibolak-balik doang.)

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SKCK Tanpa Surat Pengantar (Jakarta Selatan)

Okeh, kalau Anda berharap ini adalah panduan membuat SKCK yang ditulis dengan rapi dan informatif, mohon maaf Anda tertipu judul (ya terus kenapa juga sih bikin judulnya begitu)

Saya nulis ini based on pengalaman aja, sekalian curcol sih sebenernya, siapa tau bisa membantu memudahkan Anda sekalian para pencari kerja ataupun pemburu beasiswa yang butuh SKCK.. Hope this post can save you the trouble of tetek bengek ngurusin surat pengantar yang huft banget.

Iyah, huft banget. Saya dua kali/dua hari berturut-turut zonk dateng ke Ketua RT/RW demi bikin surat pengantar ini. Dua-duanya gegara salah timing alias kesiangan, hahahahaha ketauan ga pernah main ama Ketua RT/RW (ok wait, that sounded wrong)

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Why Do You Write A Blog?

Oh well, just in time! Because I can see the old habit started kicking in, hahaha. It happened all the time; I’d be on fire and started writing something for the blog again, promising myself -if not the readers- to post regularly again, but then I lost the mood, life happens, etc, and I’d just go on hiatus until I started to write again, and the cycle repeats itself. Apparently it’s quite easy to start, but being consistent is the hardest part. Thanks to Dira, I found this blogging challenge. Hopefully it will stimulate me to write more consistently. Let’s break that evil chain, eh?

So why did I start a blog in the first place?

I guess it started with the Friendster blog back then. I saw some people write blogs, then I guess I thought it’d be a good place to post some of my work. I liked writing poetry back in high school. So I started posting my poems in that Friendster blog. I was also terrible at keeping a journal/diary, and I don’t always have a friend to tell my stories to, so I guess it could be a place for me to share my stories too –ones that are not private business, of course.

So I kept writing about personal experiences, mostly the ones that are out of my ordinary days, just as a way to share my life story with others. A couple years later, after I migrated my blog to WordPress (because Friendster was getting less popular), I started to contemplate more about life and the things around me. And I just thought that maybe I can get people to stop once in a while and think about such things too. Maybe I could affect or inspire people in some way through my writings. I started writing more about things that I think about, and less about daily experiences.

I kept writing (although less frequently, because I only write if I believe it’s worth to think about), because I want to affect people to change. I want to make people think, and change their point of view, change their attitude, and become a better person, do better for others around them. For a better world, eventually.

A wise man once said, “To read is to know the world, to write is to know thyself.”

So that’s it, I guess. I write a blog to inspire, not only people, but also myself. Let all these writings remind me of who I was, who I am, and who I want to become.