Parenting trauma is super real, y’all.
It’s not always explicit like sexual or physical abuse or such, but the emotional trauma is as damaging.
It may damage you as a person. It affects your personality.
It’s true that education shapes people, but we often mistaken “school” for “education”. Believe it or not, the most of education takes place at home.
There are various research to prove this, but since this is not a scientific paper, I apologize for not citing any of those research. (Might as well do your own research, though. Read some parenting books, I’m sure you’ll find a bunch of references there. Oh and while you’re at it, do some research about fitrah-based education/FBE as well. You won’t regret it.)
Well, this is coming from a person who spend years of her life thinking that she could change things, thought that education is the root answer for everything, then found out that school system is an ultimately ineffective component of education, and also figured out that she is a combination of an ideal product of a failed education system and a terribly damaged product of a dysfunctional parenting.
Okay, that was disturbingly specific.
I know I usually try to keep it positive in this blog, but heck, people need to know this.
I am not a professional or an expert or anything in this, but I am
speaking writing from the point of view of a person who has experienced the trauma. I don’t care anymore how people judge me, I’m already damaged as I am. At least I’m letting it out just for the sake of keeping me sane writing the truth.
I am who I am. And like it or not, this is me. I’m not really sure how my parents raised me, honestly I don’t remember too much.
Perhaps my brain actively delete memories it doesn’t like. Anyhow, as I grew up, as I learn and know more, I figured out that some things are seriously wrong in my life.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do love my family. I’m grateful for them. But hey, it doesn’t change the fact that they made some terrible mistakes.
And this is how I turned out to be. All the crap and the good inside, if any.
This is how my personality turned out to be. This is how I was “programmed” to be, by everything that happens in my family.
Trust me, it works just like that.
Parenting is like programming.
Be it the habits in the family, how the parents talk to the children, what the parents do, how the parents think, they’re all what makes a person who he/she is. That’s how we all actually learn.
Oh on an important note; parents or family here isn’t necessarily biological, it also works as caretakers or whoever acts as one.
Anyway, so that is why I’m writing this. Everybody needs to know.
Education is important. And the most of education comes from parents.
Education starts from family.
Thus, it is urgent and important to learn how to be good parents.
It is not to be taken lightly.
True, there may not be such thing as the best parenting method. However, that is exactly why we all need to learn, so that we may know and understand well enough to choose which one suits us best.
Because in the end, we’re all left to make our own choices… and face the consequences.**
Well, this could be a longer post, but I guess I have pretty much made my point.
You know how there are some people that goes viral for doing some freakishly ridiculous things and you can’t help to wonder how people can do something so freaking bizarre?
And all the stupid things “netizen” say?
Have you ever wondered how these people were raised in their family?
Don’t blame the government. Don’t blame schools.
Ask ourselves, what are we doing as parents, as adults.
Did we prepare ourselves to properly raise another human being?
We need to break this chain, people. Let’s get to work.
**This is also one of the most important skills we need to teach children!