Surviving (Near-)Depression and Building Something Meaningful

I’m baaaack! (Yeah, well, you know the drill. As usual, I’m such a seasonal blogger.)

The last few months hasn’t been great for me actually. I almost fell into depression, if not actually depressed. And the last post about a place I belong? Boy how I was so wrong. Sekolah Alam is only great from the outside, but inside, it’s just as conventional as the school next door. At least that’s what I can say, based on my own experience. Not to belittle other Sekolah Alam, though.

Anyway, so now I’ve left the job at Sekolah Alam. I’m not proud of how I did, but I’m kinda glad I made the decision. I did went through terrible time after I resigned, I was in a very low point in the last few months, as if I didn’t know how to live anymore (yes, it was that bad)..but somehow I was able to pull myself back up. All praise to Allah, Alhamdulillah. And I finally figured out what I’m meant to do, or at least, what I really aspire to do.

Currently I’m back teaching as a freelance, looking for a suitable teaching job in alternative schools, and building networks in education. Last month I went to #PestaPendidikan in Bandung, and also joined Fitrah Based Education workshop. They were very insightful. I realized that what I enjoy the most is learning, and I’m always excited to learn, be it through seminars and workshop, or through interacting with people. I like talking about and spreading ideas, and get very excited when the people I talk to share the similar ideas.

Now I’m very excited to build @sekolahparenting, as a fitrah based education community. (Please do join! Any parents, parents to-be, educators or anyone who wants to learn and share about parenting are very welcomed.) Later when the community is solid, I think it’ll be much easier to build and develop a fitrah based school together. I’m very optimistic on this. Bismillah, I hope Allah Gives blessing on this plan.

It’s still a long way to go, but I think it’s gonna be an interesting journey.. Let’s collaborate! :)

The Place I Belong

OneRepublic - Counting Stars. Play video for lyrics.

I just re-listened to this song thoroughly today, and realized that this is the theme song to my career turning point :)

Yes, I feel like I’ve given up a lot for the work I’m doing right now, but I think it’s totally worth it. I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be. I’m in the best job I can possibly be in :)

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It’s My Life

It’s my life
It’s now or never
I ain’t gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I’m alive

It’s my life
My heart is like an open highway
Like Franklin said, “I did it my way”
I just wanna live while I’m alive

Bon Jovi – It’s My Life

Lagu ini masih terus terngiang-ngiang di kepala gue sampe saat ini, tetapi itu nggak bikin gue kesel (seperti mungkin umumnya lagu yang terngiang-ngiang di pikiran), justru bikin gue lebih semangat :)

Ya, baru dalam 4 hari kebelakang ini gue bener-bener mendalami lirik lagu ini, dan meresapi maknanya. Ini hidup gue. Hidup gue adanya sekarang; nanti, besok, lusa, siapa yang tahu? Only Allah knows. Gue punya pilihan untuk menentukan hidup gue. Mau seperti apa? Mau dibawa kemana?

Dan ternyata gue udah pernah menulis tentang pilihan loh di sini. (Baru nyadar, hahaha. Terus sekarang nulis apa dong yah.)

Oh, iya. Kalau gitu sekarang gue nulis tentang kesadaran deh. Bahasa kerennya (eh, Bahasa Inggrisnya ding) sih awareness.

Apa itu awareness? Awareness adalah kesadaran. (Lah, dibolak-balik doang.)

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SKCK Tanpa Surat Pengantar (Jakarta Selatan)

Okeh, kalau Anda berharap ini adalah panduan membuat SKCK yang ditulis dengan rapi dan informatif, mohon maaf Anda tertipu judul (ya terus kenapa juga sih bikin judulnya begitu)

Saya nulis ini based on pengalaman aja, sekalian curcol sih sebenernya, siapa tau bisa membantu memudahkan Anda sekalian para pencari kerja ataupun pemburu beasiswa yang butuh SKCK.. Hope this post can save you the trouble of tetek bengek ngurusin surat pengantar yang huft banget.

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What Revolution Will You Lead?

Now it goes down to this one simple question, which is not so simple to answer…

If I had written this post about one and a half month ago, I might have written boldly about how I want to lead a revolution in education, especially in my home country.

But then some things happened, and I was faced with some harsh realities (which I now realize that it may just be my reality) that made me feel not so sure about it. It even made me skip this LYL challenge for a month. I don’t want this post to be too long, so if you really want to know about what happened, you may read the story in the other post. (link to be updated)

It made me so doubtful of myself. I seriously doubted my competence and capabilities to actually lead that kind of revolution. I feel like I’ve really screwed up and feel so small that there’s no way I’d be able to do that.

But after a few pep talk with myself, talking to people (more like exchanging ideas, not talking about my problems though), and a lot of prayers.. I finally tell myself that I just gotta do it. I just gotta do something, anything I can think of, anything I could possibly do right now. Who cares if I can or cannot do it? I still want to make it happen. At least I know where I want to go. I’ll do something and I might at least learn something, no matter how little it is. Eventually I’ll figure out how to get there.

So here’s the revolution I want to lead. Continue Reading