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It is Okay to be Not Okay

Oh gosh. I’m a mess.

This week I haven’t been my best. These two days have been the worst. I can barely think. I’m poor at making decisions. I feel like I’ve made terrible choices.

But I’ve made a commitment to publish a writing once a week, and since I haven’t posted anything this week, well, here goes..

So.. for the first time in quite a while, recently I’ve started disliking Monday again.

I’ve grown to like my job quite a lot the past few months, so I haven’t had any problem welcoming Mondays. In fact, I even looked forward to it.

However, in the last few weeks, going to work has somehow been kind of dreadful to me. I haven’t been enjoying going to work. There’s just this pressure and perhaps weariness I’ve been feeling. Also.. uneasy feeling. I can’t even comfortably talk about the things I always loved to talk about. I am filled with doubt, regret, and worries.

Well, maybe that’s the reason why I also feel so tired all the time.

I haven’t really been able to pinpoint the root cause, though I suspected some things to be the probable causes. I don’t feel like writing them here, but I’ve written pretty much all my thoughts and feelings in my journal, so… I guess writing about it hasn’t helped that much. I need to find a way to either figure it out or just to let it out.. whichever possible for now, because it seems to start affecting my thinking and decision making. I need to stop this before it becomes another drama.

Wish. Me. Luck.

P.S.: Today I’ve basically ruined one of the biggest opportunity I might ever have; the LC Lab Batch 2’s first showcase. It was showtime and I screwed up. Big time. I wasn’t even sure what I was about to talk about. I thought I’ve figured it out, but I feel like getting back to square one. I feel like I don’t even know what I’m actually aiming to do. Dear Lord.. please show me the way :'(

Well, for now.. I guess I’m just going to hold on to my new mantra:

“It’s okay to be not okay.”

Just breathe. Embrace yourself. Everything is going to be alright. :’)

 

..but To Love Is Not As Simple

Indeed, isn’t it?

Apparently, loving a child is somewhat complicated.

Many times it seems as if they don’t pay attention to what we say or do. As if they’re not listening to us. However, every single thing we do may apparently affect them for the rest of their lives.

I am not a parent (yet), but being a teacher somehow gives me insights of experiences of being a parent. I now understand how it might feel for parents, how they might worry whether what they’re doing or the choices they make are the right ones for the child. Because what they do right now might determine the rest of the child’s life.

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Meeting Your 10-Years-Old Self: Evaluation on Life

A feew weeks ago, I saw this #komik10tahun on Instagram and it sort of went viral among comic artists. There were many inspiring stories of how they imagine themselves meeting their 10-years-old self.

These stories inspired me to do an activity with my students.
I shared with my students about how most people actually “plan their lives” when they’re 10 years old. Not in high school. Not in college. Your real dreams and ambitions are created when you’re 10 years old.

It’s a prime age where dreams and imaginations start to meet the real world.

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