Meeting Your 10-Years-Old Self: Evaluation on Life

A feew weeks ago, I saw this #komik10tahun on Instagram and it sort of went viral among comic artists. There were many inspiring stories of how they imagine themselves meeting their 10-years-old self.

These stories inspired me to do an activity with my students.
I shared with my students about how most people actually “plan their lives” when they’re 10 years old. Not in high school. Not in college. Your real dreams and ambitions are created when you’re 10 years old.

It’s a prime age where dreams and imaginations start to meet the real world.

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It’s That Time of The Year Again, I Guess..

Yep, being the seasonal blogger I am, you know what it means when I suddenly show up on this blog again.

Gosh, it’s been almost a year since my last post, huh? Can’t believe time went by that fast.

Ah, I don’t know where to start..

The last one year has been such a roller-coaster of emotions for me. Oh, and I (almost) fell into depression (again). Yup, it’s been one helluva year. I survived that, though, and I began to love my job more than I ever loved anything I’ve ever done in my life.

But maybe.. I’ve fallen in love too deeply. And nothing with the prefix ‘too’ has ever gone good. I know I’ve always told myself to not care about what people say, as long as do what I believe is right.. But well, apparently letting your heart take control is not all that good after all.

I let my heart lead the way, but apparently I ignored my logic completely.. and I almost ruined everything.

I’m in too deep.

I don’t know why this always happens to me.  The moment I care, I ruin everything.

Because I’d do it wholeheartedly. I’d care too much.

And I ruined it. Again.

I might need to pull myself away for now. Keep my distance. Try to care less.

Thank goodness I have somewhere else to put my focus on..

“I can’t help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I’m sorry but I gotta move on with my own life

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel..”

– Papa Roach, ‘Scars’

____

I have other news that might be more exciting to share, but.. in another post, maybe. Right now I’m just too mellow to write anything else..

But hey! Thank goodness for all those mellow-ness. Here I am writing again. Guess there’s always a brighter side to everything…

The Place I Belong

OneRepublic - Counting Stars. Play video for lyrics.

I just re-listened to this song thoroughly today, and realized that this is the theme song to my career turning point :)

Yes, I feel like I’ve given up a lot for the work I’m doing right now, but I think it’s totally worth it. I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be. I’m in the best job I can possibly be in :)

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What Revolution Will You Lead?

Now it goes down to this one simple question, which is not so simple to answer…

If I had written this post about one and a half month ago, I might have written boldly about how I want to lead a revolution in education, especially in my home country.

But then some things happened, and I was faced with some harsh realities (which I now realize that it may just be my reality) that made me feel not so sure about it. It even made me skip this LYL challenge for a month. I don’t want this post to be too long, so if you really want to know about what happened, you may read the story in the other post. (link to be updated)

It made me so doubtful of myself. I seriously doubted my competence and capabilities to actually lead that kind of revolution. I feel like I’ve really screwed up and feel so small that there’s no way I’d be able to do that.

But after a few pep talk with myself, talking to people (more like exchanging ideas, not talking about my problems though), and a lot of prayers.. I finally tell myself that I just gotta do it. I just gotta do something, anything I can think of, anything I could possibly do right now. Who cares if I can or cannot do it? I still want to make it happen. At least I know where I want to go. I’ll do something and I might at least learn something, no matter how little it is. Eventually I’ll figure out how to get there.

So here’s the revolution I want to lead. Continue Reading

Why Do I Choose to Focus on Education?

This post is mostly a reminder to myself, but I guess it’d be great if it gives any benefit to anyone else, so here goes..

First of all, I believe that there is an eternal life after death. I believe in the afterlife. I believe that how or where we end up in the afterlife, is determined on how we “perform” in this life on earth. Surely we would want to end up in the best place in afterlife. Therefore, there’s a purpose in this life. There are missions to complete. It’s all stated in the Qur’an.

I choose to pursue a career in education because I believe it gives me a wide opportunity to reach that purpose. Given the reality of our country’s education up until today, I realize that I have goals, ideas and wishes I want to accomplish in the field of education.

It’s true that learning is a never ending journey. We’re all actually learning as we live. Even so, not many of us realize that. It’s possible that it is caused by the way we’ve been educated in schools, where we usually don’t really feel the joy of learning. Well, do you? I mean, do you remember all those tests you had to take when you were in school? Did you actually enjoy learning all those things? Did you actually want to learn all those things? Or did you learn them just because you’re told to do so? Did you learn them just because you had to pass all those tests? Did you know why you had to learn all those things? Did you make use most of those things you learnt?

If you answered no to most of those questions, don’t be disappointed. I’m quite sure most people might answered the same. At least I did. :)

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