Surviving (Near-)Depression and Building Something Meaningful

I’m baaaack! (Yeah, well, you know the drill. As usual, I’m such a seasonal blogger.)

The last few months hasn’t been great for me actually. I almost fell into depression, if not actually depressed. And the last post about a place I belong? Boy how I was so wrong. Sekolah Alam is only great from the outside, but inside, it’s just as conventional as the school next door. At least that’s what I can say, based on my own experience. Not to belittle other Sekolah Alam, though.

Anyway, so now I’ve left the job at Sekolah Alam. I’m not proud of how I did, but I’m kinda glad I made the decision. I did went through terrible time after I resigned, I was in a very low point in the last few months, as if I didn’t know how to live anymore (yes, it was that bad)..but somehow I was able to pull myself back up. All praise to Allah, Alhamdulillah. And I finally figured out what I’m meant to do, or at least, what I really aspire to do.

Currently I’m back teaching as a freelance, looking for a suitable teaching job in alternative schools, and building networks in education. Last month I went to #PestaPendidikan in Bandung, and also joined Fitrah Based Education workshop. They were very insightful. I realized that what I enjoy the most is learning, and I’m always excited to learn, be it through seminars and workshop, or through interacting with people. I like talking about and spreading ideas, and get very excited when the people I talk to share the similar ideas.

Now I’m very excited to build @sekolahparenting, as a fitrah based education community. (Please do join! Any parents, parents to-be, educators or anyone who wants to learn and share about parenting are very welcomed.) Later when the community is solid, I think it’ll be much easier to build and develop a fitrah based school together. I’m very optimistic on this. Bismillah, I hope Allah Gives blessing on this plan.

It’s still a long way to go, but I think it’s gonna be an interesting journey.. Let’s collaborate! :)

Why Do You Write A Blog?

Oh well, just in time! Because I can see the old habit started kicking in, hahaha. It happened all the time; I’d be on fire and started writing something for the blog again, promising myself -if not the readers- to post regularly again, but then I lost the mood, life happens, etc, and I’d just go on hiatus until I started to write again, and the cycle repeats itself. Apparently it’s quite easy to start, but being consistent is the hardest part. Thanks to Dira, I found this blogging challenge. Hopefully it will stimulate me to write more consistently. Let’s break that evil chain, eh?

So why did I start a blog in the first place?

I guess it started with the Friendster blog back then. I saw some people write blogs, then I guess I thought it’d be a good place to post some of my work. I liked writing poetry back in high school. So I started posting my poems in that Friendster blog. I was also terrible at keeping a journal/diary, and I don’t always have a friend to tell my stories to, so I guess it could be a place for me to share my stories too –ones that are not private business, of course.

So I kept writing about personal experiences, mostly the ones that are out of my ordinary days, just as a way to share my life story with others. A couple years later, after I migrated my blog to WordPress (because Friendster was getting less popular), I started to contemplate more about life and the things around me. And I just thought that maybe I can get people to stop once in a while and think about such things too. Maybe I could affect or inspire people in some way through my writings. I started writing more about things that I think about, and less about daily experiences.

I kept writing (although less frequently, because I only write if I believe it’s worth to think about), because I want to affect people to change. I want to make people think, and change their point of view, change their attitude, and become a better person, do better for others around them. For a better world, eventually.

A wise man once said, “To read is to know the world, to write is to know thyself.”

So that’s it, I guess. I write a blog to inspire, not only people, but also myself. Let all these writings remind me of who I was, who I am, and who I want to become.