I Could Have Been..

The mega sports event Asian Games 2018 will soon comes to an end. Having watched so many athletes plays various sports in this event, I kept on thinking to myself; I could have been an athlete..

I don’t know if anyone has actually noticed, the last few years all my life I’ve been struggling to figure out what on earth I’m good at. That struggle has been fruitless. I suck at everything.

Well, perhaps ever since I was in school I’ve always been able to do many things, but I never knew what I’m really good at. I’ve been a jack-of-all trades, but master of none. Surely, I can do some things where my other colleagues can’t, but put me in that specific field, and I’m pretty much nothing. Among other people in that field, I got nothing special. Basically, I actually suck at it. And it applies to all of the things I thought I was good at.

Everything…except for sports. Or so I think.

Seeing all the athletes competing in various sports in Asian Games 2018, I very much regret for not having pursued sports. I’ve always been quite good at sports, and I liked it. I honestly have at least practiced and experienced competitions in several sports being competed in Asian Games, such as athletic, pencak silat, taekwondo, (mini) soccer..

Now I keep on regretting; man, oh man, I could have been an athlete. I could totally have competed in those sports. I could have been in this event.

But I am not.

I am still here, staring at these four walls wondering where on earth my life is going.

I always enjoy PE at school, I joined invitational and regional competitions, and I even still participated in various internal sports events in college and in the company I worked in. I always enjoyed doing it. I even enjoyed doing it more than my main job or task in the institution I was in. I even still competed in futsal competition while working on my undergrad thesis. Those moments always made me happy.

Why oh why I didn’t pursue sports as a career?

Well, I have to admit that I thought there was no future in sports career. I guess that’s also the way I was raised; my parents are the kind of people who thinks of sports as nothing more than a hobby. It’s not a way to make a living. Career in sports were still underrated and underappreciated (unless for badminton and men’s football, I guess). 10 years ago, even perhaps until a couple years ago, athletes are still underpaid, undertrained, basically neglected by the government. It seems that only since Indonesia was to become the host of Asian Games 2018 that the government started to put serious treatments to the Indonesian athletes.

But it’s already too late for me. I’m already past my prime years of physical condition. Even if I could start so late, I don’t even know how and where to begin. I don’t know if I could compete with much younger athletes. I’m physically and mentally too late.

And here I am, having no friends, no job, no skills, no achievements; still staring at the same four walls, wondering what the heck I’m going to do with my life.

Why Do I Choose to Focus on Education?

This post is mostly a reminder to myself, but I guess it’d be great if it gives any benefit to anyone else, so here goes..

First of all, I believe that there is an eternal life after death. I believe in the afterlife. I believe that how or where we end up in the afterlife, is determined on how we “perform” in this life on earth. Surely we would want to end up in the best place in afterlife. Therefore, there’s a purpose in this life. There are missions to complete. It’s all stated in the Qur’an.

I choose to pursue a career in education because I believe it gives me a wide opportunity to reach that purpose. Given the reality of our country’s education up until today, I realize that I have goals, ideas and wishes I want to accomplish in the field of education.

It’s true that learning is a never ending journey. We’re all actually learning as we live. Even so, not many of us realize that. It’s possible that it is caused by the way we’ve been educated in schools, where we usually don’t really feel the joy of learning. Well, do you? I mean, do you remember all those tests you had to take when you were in school? Did you actually enjoy learning all those things? Did you actually want to learn all those things? Or did you learn them just because you’re told to do so? Did you learn them just because you had to pass all those tests? Did you know why you had to learn all those things? Did you make use most of those things you learnt?

If you answered no to most of those questions, don’t be disappointed. I’m quite sure most people might answered the same. At least I did. :)

Continue reading “Why Do I Choose to Focus on Education?”

Kenapa Resign?

Itu pertanyaan yang berulang kali ditanyakan ke gue beberapa bulan terakhir ini, dan sejujurnya gue lama-lama makin males ngejawabnya. Nggak, pertanyaan ini bagi gue nggak lebih mending daripada pertanyaan “Kapan nikah?” (And surprisingly, gue gak se-sering itu dapet pertanyaan kayak gitu, hahaha.)

Sebenernya banyak varian lain dari pertanyaan itu, misalnya, “Sekarang di mana?” (Yang bisa gue jawab setengah bercanda tapi bener: “Di sini! :)”), atau “Pindah ke mana?” (Kalo ini agak lebih susah ngelesnya, paling gue jawab “Gak ke mana-mana kok”, karena emang gak pindah company :D Atau kalo lagi jujur banget, gue bilang aja “Mau sekolah”.. tapi biasanya gue agak males jawab ini karena pasti banyak pertanyaan follow up nya.. yang setengah hati gue jawabnya karena emang belum dapet sekolah maupun beasiswanya, hehe..)

Dan ujung-ujungnya ketika orang tau gue simply resign walaupun belum dapet kampus dan bukan pindah ke company lain juga, pasti pertanyaannya jadi, “Lho terus kenapa resign? Gak sambil kerja aja? Kan sayang blablabla…”

Tentunya gue punya alasan dong. Tapi males gak sih ngejelasin ke tiap orang yang nanya kayak gitu. Akhirnya gue pun berpikir kalo ada lagi yang nanya kayak gitu, kayaknya mending gue respon dengan pertanyaan balik, “Kenapa nggak?” (Khususnya bagi mereka yang bekerja di ex-kantor gue tersebut, hahaha.)

Why not?

UI Career & Scholarship Expo XIV 2012

Gue pengen share aja, jadi dari hari Kamis sampe Sabtu, tanggal 20-22 September 2012 lalu, ada acara job fair/job expo  di Balairung UI, kerjasama CDC UI dan Jobstreet.com. Gue dengan profesi baru gue sebagai jobseeker/jobhunter (bahasa keren dari pengangguran) tentunya dateng dong dengan semangat ’45 :D Ini adalah kali pertama buat gue dateng ke jobfair, setelah sebelumnya batal ke jobfair di Istora Senayan dan di Gd. SMESCO.

Continue reading “UI Career & Scholarship Expo XIV 2012”