2018: A (Journey of) Reflection

3 months.

3 months since I somehow got back on my senses.

3 months.. perhaps it’s a reasonable period of time to do a whole lot of things.. until you suddenly feel so tired with no reason whatsoever. Feeling so uneasy completely out of nowhere.

Perhaps it’s a sign that it is time to reflect again.

. . .

For me, 2018 has been a year full of losses.

Yeah, I’ve lost quite a lot. I lost so much time. I lost my (full-time) job. I lost opportunities. I lost my kids. I lost my friend. I lost precious relations..

And I guess for quite some time then.. I lost myself.

I lost sight of who I am. And perhaps I still do, from time to time.

But at the same time, I feel like I keep on getting the chance to find myself all over again.

Does it make sense to you? I don’t mind if it doesn’t.. Everyone has their own timeline to encounter such things.

Losing something precious to you is never easy.

Moving on is never easy. But if you are patient enough to get over it, you sure would grow so much..

Or so I think. You might think otherwise. It’s okay. It’s perfectly fine to have your own opinion.

Either way, it is often harder to forgive yourself than to forgive others.

That one dumb big awful mistake you made, it may ruin you. Broke someone’s heart. Broke relations apart.

And you can’t even do anything to make it right again…

But then again, if it happens then so it happens.

Nothing is a coincidence. It is all meant to be.

It must be part of His Grand Plan, somehow.

. . .

I just hope I can get over it before I fall apart all over again…

Jakarta, soon ending December 2018.
@nadhilaaz

What Really Makes You Angry About The World?

I’m angry about how unfair the world is. How it’s always one-sided, how they always have double standard. How the world empathizes with certain nations’ tragedies but completely ignores the rest. How they could easily kill a “terrorism” suspect in sight but very carefully investigate a corruption suspect.

I’m angry about how the world always sides with those with power or money. I’m angry about how it never seem to be enough for them.

I’m angry about how the government is so corrupted. I’m angry about how the people’s innovation and ideas are often held back due to the bureaucracy. How it’s so hard to make improvements due to  limitations and minimum support from the government.

I’m angry about how the media is no longer trustful. How they can easily manipulate the news, and people don’t know how to differ the lies from the truth anymore.

I’m angry about how people would easily cheat their way into getting what they want. I’m angry about how younger people could easily make an example out of it.

I’m angry about how easy it is for people to comment and discredit others, as if they were much better/could do better.

I’m angry about how impatient people are. How they always rush in doing anything. Where do they think they’re going anyway?

Tell me what’s wrong with society
When everywhere I look, I see
Young girls dying to be on TV
They won’t stop till they’ve reached their dreams

Diet pills, surgery
Photoshopped pictures in magazines
Telling them how they should be
It doesn’t make sense to me

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what’s going on?
Tell me what’s going on?
If you open your eyes
You’ll see that something is wrong

I guess things are not how they used to be
There’s no more normal families
Parents act like enemies
Making kids feel like it’s World War III

No one cares, no one’s there
I guess we’re all just too damn busy
And money’s our first priority
It doesn’t make sense to me

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what’s going on?
Tell me what’s going on?
If you open your eyes
You’ll see that something is wrong

Is everybody going crazy?
Is everybody going crazy?

Tell me what’s wrong with society
When everywhere I look I see
Rich guys driving big SUVs
While kids are starving in the streets

No one cares
No one likes to share
I guess life’s unfair

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what’s going on?
Tell me what’s going on?
If you open your eyes
You’ll see that something is wrong

Simple Plan – Crazy

The Life of A Twenty-Something

Being twenty-something (especially early twenties) is hard, man..

Remember that time when you were having a transition from high school into university life? It’s much harder than that. At least, that’s what I think..

Yeah, being twenty-something is hard. Especially when you’re unemployed and unmarried. It’s like..we’re moving to a part of life we’ve never been before; real life. The real, uncovered, unmasked life out there, where we are no longer protected by school gates and textbooks and theories and everything. It’s just plain real world out there. And trust me, your whole point of view will change when you get to this point.

Tau gak, kenapa di momen ketika lo denger kabar bahwa temen lo dilamar, temen lo mau akad nikah, bahkan temen lo bakal ngelahirin anak pertama, ketika lo sendiri bahkan belom ngejalaninnya, seketika lo pasti ngerasa campur aduk antara seneng terharu tapi sekaligus galau? Ya, tentunya pasti seneng lah ya kalo denger kabar temen lo dilamar, mau nikahan, mau lahiran, dll dsb.. But at the same time, you just can’t help but contemplating. Lo mau ga mau jadi mikir tentang hidup lo sendiri. It’s like, wow, they got a big thing happening.. what about me? What have I done with my life?

Yea, like I said.. seketika itu pula lo bisa jadi galau.

At least that’s what I’ve been thinking.

It’s like, they’re the people I went to school with. They’re the people I hang out with (although not necessarily all the time). We basically grew up together, and they’re..engaged! They’re..getting married. Or they even have a child on the way.. And so on.

It makes you think, doesn’t it?

Please do read more..

It’s A Small World After All..

Kalo diterjemahin dalam Bahasa Indonesia kurang lebih jadi, “Dunia itu sempit ya..” Itu adalah ungkapan yang biasanya diucapkan seseorang waktu mengetahui bahwa seseorang yang dikenalnya di suatu tempat, juga kenal dengan seseorang yang dikenalnya dari tempat lain (yang tidak saling berhubungan).

Dulu, kalo denger ungkapan kayak gitu gw cuma diem meng-iya-kan sambil sedikit takjub. Wah, gw kenal si A dari tempat X, si B dari tempat Y, ternyata mereka saling kenal ya! And then somebody would say, “Dunia emang sempit ya..”

Well, is it?

Jakarta sih iya.

Kadang gw heran dengan ungkapan begitu. And then it got me thinking.. Kalo menurut lo dunia itu sempit, berarti lo belum melihat dunia, men. It’s not a small world, you just haven’t travel far enough! Go farther. Try going to someplace far far away, someplace not related to your home, to your family, or to your workplace. Go someplace completely new, where you’ll meet total strangers. Some place you won’t meet someone your friends or relatives know of.

If you’ve gone to such place and still find people of such relation, then you must go farther! Go farther and farther until you reach a place totally strange to you. Even then, you might only have seen half of the world.

I’m just saying, there’s just a whole lot of things we have yet to seen in this world, so I think we don’t get to say such thing as the world is a small place.

Yeah, I’m just saying.

Bumi Allah itu luas, kawan! :)