3 months since I somehow got back on my senses.
3 months.. perhaps it’s a reasonable period of time to do a whole lot of things.. until you suddenly feel so tired with no reason whatsoever. Feeling so uneasy completely out of nowhere.
Perhaps it’s a sign that it is time to reflect again.
. . .
For me, 2018 has been a year full of losses.
Yeah, I’ve lost quite a lot. I lost so much time. I lost my (full-time) job. I lost opportunities. I lost my kids. I lost my friend. I lost precious relations..
And I guess for quite some time then.. I lost myself.
I lost sight of who I am. And perhaps I still do, from time to time.
But at the same time, I feel like I keep on getting the chance to find myself all over again.
Does it make sense to you? I don’t mind if it doesn’t.. Everyone has their own timeline to encounter such things.
Losing something precious to you is never easy.
Moving on is never easy. But if you are patient enough to get over it, you sure would grow so much..
Or so I think. You might think otherwise. It’s okay. It’s perfectly fine to have your own opinion.
Either way, it is often harder to forgive yourself than to forgive others.
That one dumb big awful mistake you made, it may ruin you. Broke someone’s heart. Broke relations apart.
And you can’t even do anything to make it right again…
But then again, if it happens then so it happens.
Nothing is a coincidence. It is all meant to be.
It must be part of His Grand Plan, somehow.
. . .
I just hope I can get over it before I fall apart all over again…
Jakarta, soon ending December 2018.