Surviving (Near-)Depression and Building Something Meaningful

I’m baaaack! (Yeah, well, you know the drill. As usual, I’m such a seasonal blogger.)

The last few months hasn’t been great for me actually. I almost fell into depression, if not actually depressed. And the last post about a place I belong? Boy how I was so wrong. Sekolah Alam is only great from the outside, but inside, it’s just as conventional as the school next door. At least that’s what I can say, based on my own experience. Not to belittle other Sekolah Alam, though.

Anyway, so now I’ve left the job at Sekolah Alam. I’m not proud of how I did, but I’m kinda glad I made the decision. I did went through terrible time after I resigned, I was in a very low point in the last few months, as if I didn’t know how to live anymore (yes, it was that bad)..but somehow I was able to pull myself back up. All praise to Allah, Alhamdulillah. And I finally figured out what I’m meant to do, or at least, what I really aspire to do.

Currently I’m back teaching as a freelance, looking for a suitable teaching job in alternative schools, and building networks in education. Last month I went to #PestaPendidikan in Bandung, and also joined Fitrah Based Education workshop. They were very insightful. I realized that what I enjoy the most is learning, and I’m always excited to learn, be it through seminars and workshop, or through interacting with people. I like talking about and spreading ideas, and get very excited when the people I talk to share the similar ideas.

Now I’m very excited to build @sekolahparenting, as a fitrah based education community. (Please do join! Any parents, parents to-be, educators or anyone who wants to learn and share about parenting are very welcomed.) Later when the community is solid, I think it’ll be much easier to build and develop a fitrah based school together. I’m very optimistic on this. Bismillah, I hope Allah Gives blessing on this plan.

It’s still a long way to go, but I think it’s gonna be an interesting journey.. Let’s collaborate! :)


The Place I Belong

OneRepublic - Counting Stars. Play video for lyrics.

I just re-listened to this song thoroughly today, and realized that this is the theme song to my career turning point :)

Yes, I feel like I’ve given up a lot for the work I’m doing right now, but I think it’s totally worth it. I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be. I’m in the best job I can possibly be in :)

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It’s My Life

It’s my life
It’s now or never
I ain’t gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I’m alive

It’s my life
My heart is like an open highway
Like Franklin said, “I did it my way”
I just wanna live while I’m alive

Bon Jovi – It’s My Life

Lagu ini masih terus terngiang-ngiang di kepala gue sampe saat ini, tetapi itu nggak bikin gue kesel (seperti mungkin umumnya lagu yang terngiang-ngiang di pikiran), justru bikin gue lebih semangat :)

Ya, baru dalam 4 hari kebelakang ini gue bener-bener mendalami lirik lagu ini, dan meresapi maknanya. Ini hidup gue. Hidup gue adanya sekarang; nanti, besok, lusa, siapa yang tahu? Only Allah knows. Gue punya pilihan untuk menentukan hidup gue. Mau seperti apa? Mau dibawa kemana?

Dan ternyata gue udah pernah menulis tentang pilihan loh di sini. (Baru nyadar, hahaha. Terus sekarang nulis apa dong yah.)

Oh, iya. Kalau gitu sekarang gue nulis tentang kesadaran deh. Bahasa kerennya (eh, Bahasa Inggrisnya ding) sih awareness.

Apa itu awareness? Awareness adalah kesadaran. (Lah, dibolak-balik doang.)

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Following Your Passion, Living The Dream

Some people say that following your passion is a privilege. Some would say it’s a choice. Me? I would rather say it’s a privilege you get for making the choice :)

Well, since it’s been quite some time that I’ve left my corporate job and not turning into another corporate job, I think it’s quite obvious that I am not following money.. So I think it’s safe to assume that I am following my passion. To think that I have never realized it before.. that this is my passion. That this is my life purpose. That this is where I can finally define my dream. It’s kinda funny, but it happens to most of us.

Although, if you ask me, “What is your passion? Teaching? Do you dream/want to be a teacher?” Haha I don’t know if I dream of being a teacher. I just know I never dreamt or even thought about being a teacher before. But if that is what’s necessary for me to achieve my life goal, then so be it. Either way, I know that teaching is one of the few steps I must go through, in order for me to achieve my dream.

Wait, so what is my dream?

Why not read more and find out?

Kenapa Resign?

Itu pertanyaan yang berulang kali ditanyakan ke gue beberapa bulan terakhir ini, dan sejujurnya gue lama-lama makin males ngejawabnya. Nggak, pertanyaan ini bagi gue nggak lebih mending daripada pertanyaan “Kapan nikah?” (And surprisingly, gue gak se-sering itu dapet pertanyaan kayak gitu, hahaha.)

Sebenernya banyak varian lain dari pertanyaan itu, misalnya, “Sekarang di mana?” (Yang bisa gue jawab setengah bercanda tapi bener: “Di sini! :)”), atau “Pindah ke mana?” (Kalo ini agak lebih susah ngelesnya, paling gue jawab “Gak ke mana-mana kok”, karena emang gak pindah company :D Atau kalo lagi jujur banget, gue bilang aja “Mau sekolah”.. tapi biasanya gue agak males jawab ini karena pasti banyak pertanyaan follow up nya.. yang setengah hati gue jawabnya karena emang belum dapet sekolah maupun beasiswanya, hehe..)

Dan ujung-ujungnya ketika orang tau gue simply resign walaupun belum dapet kampus dan bukan pindah ke company lain juga, pasti pertanyaannya jadi, “Lho terus kenapa resign? Gak sambil kerja aja? Kan sayang blablabla…”

Tentunya gue punya alasan dong. Tapi males gak sih ngejelasin ke tiap orang yang nanya kayak gitu. Akhirnya gue pun berpikir kalo ada lagi yang nanya kayak gitu, kayaknya mending gue respon dengan pertanyaan balik, “Kenapa nggak?” (Khususnya bagi mereka yang bekerja di ex-kantor gue tersebut, hahaha.)

Why not?