Hey y’all. Whoever y’all are. (I don’t know who ever actually read my blog.)
It’s been months of roller-coaster ride. I barely write here again since my last depression-ish period. No, this doesn’t mean I’m in depressive period right now, but as of today, the world is still in crisis due to the COVID-19 outbreak. And I’m currently in second week of self-quarantine, so it’s only a matter of time until I finally write again.
It doesn’t necessarily mean I haven’t been writing at all, obviously, because I don’t really have many options for letting my thoughts out other than writing.. but these days there are more platforms to choose to write my thoughts out, and more often than not, my thoughts are more like spurt of thoughts or slight emotional burst that I don’t feel like explaining much nor I don’t want them to stay too long out in the open, so I’d rather write them on IG story, letting them disappear after 24 hours.
I haven’t been writing serious stuffs, indeed.
I guess in the last few months, I haven’t been in my element. I’ve been almost completely out of my comfort zone, and it drained my energy a lot. So I didn’t have as much energy left for some serious writing.
Also, I’ve written most of my thoughts and stories on my Instagram captions for #30haribercerita last January (which challenge I did not complete either), pretty much summing up where I’ve been and what happened to me in the previous year, so I didn’t have as much material to write about in this blog.
And yeah, I haven’t been so much out of my comfort zone, that I had to spend most of my energy adapting to new dynamics. I basically got a job that I never even dreamed of doing, nor thought I would ever be capable of doing: facilitating preschool children.
It’s just so out of my element, it is not my strength nor in my skill set at all, but I thought it was a good opportunity to learn, so I accepted the job. But it is as hard or even harder than I thought it would be… in terms of managing my energy (and expectations).
So anyway, I adapted with all the dynamics for about 3+ months.. until this pandemic happened. Now I gotta adapt with a completely different dynamics again.
Handling 3 year-olds face to face proves to be challenging, but doable.. at least you can take your time and feel their energy and adjust accordingly. But having to give them instructions through online meetings, in front of their parents..? DUDE, I DON’T EVEN FEEL COMFORTABLE HAVING VIDEO CALLS WITH MY FRIENDS. Let alone “handling” children through online meeting?! It’s just absurd.
But anyway, I guess it’s just the way it is these days.. I can only adapt to it. It might take even more energy to do so, but then again, I just gotta take it one day at a time.
One day at a time.